(BL) Broken Wings

Fag.” one guy said.

“Slut.” another another one said.

“Whore.” A girl this time. Many insults thrown at me.

“Go die!” someone said.

“No one needs you nerd!”

“Why don’t you just kill yourself already?”

It’s the same every morning. Old and new insults. Everyone in school participates in it. Even the teachers. Though I go to school the teachers doesn’t do anything. When I told a teacher about what was happening, they told me to go die and rot in hell when I told them that I am gay. When I told my family they told me I deserve it and more. So they made a schedule where I would get beaten up on a daily basis. I tried the hospital but they all ignored me. They pretend to not see me in the room. So I stopped going. I tried calling the help centers reaching out but once they found out that I am gay they would just hang up, or tell me to go to hell and hang up, or go on this long speech on homosexuality is wrong and they were in the right. I kept trying over and over to the point where I just gave up on reaching for help.

Just once would I give to have someone care for me. Say they need me. That they want me. But that’s only a dream that will never come true. The harsh reality:

No one cares.

I don’t know why I bother with coming to school. Everyone hates me anyways. But I need my education to get out of here. Far away from here. But I don’t know if I can.

I walk to the my happy place and entered the art room. It’s the only place that I can use to express myself. But everything I draw is dark. I took my palette. It has on It three colors. Black. White. Red. With my many brushes I painted a person. Genderless. The background is black with gray and white spots. Looking like the night sky. The person is in profile view. The person is looking up with its eyes closed. It’s long black hair behind it’s back. Not tied but freely flowing in the wind. Their arms at the side. Hands clenched into fists. Their skin pale. Their face has a look as if they are screaming. Two wings were visible on the person. One black and one white. But what stood out the most is the bright blood red that is the persons tears. Both wings were broken with blood on its wings and feathers. Some blood and feathers on the floor. Then I signed it. With dots in the sky. Blending in the painting like there wasn’t a signature. The reason why I say this person with broken wings is genderless is because I see this person as me. Like I’m the one who painted myself yet a girl can relate to it so I didn’t want it to be a gender issue with it.

“That’s beautiful.” said a voice. Starting me.

I turn around to see the Knight Twins. I get scared instantly because they were the ones who outed me. The ones who got everyone against me. The ones who help me get the broken bones and bruises. But they are also the ones who have caused my broken heart. They two were identical twins. You can never truly tell them apart. But somehow I could. They have black hair and chocolate colored eyes. Also very sexy tan skin. However Jayse’s voice is a bit deeper than his brother’s. Jayse dresses like a bad boy and Peter the jock.

“Why are you here?” I ask cautiously. “Why are you talking to me?” I’m really confused. No one likes me. Everyone hates me. Why are they talking to me.

“Nothing. We just wanted to talk to you.” Jayse, the older twin said.

“Don’t lie.” I quickly say.

“Its true.” Peter, the younger said.

“I don’t believe you.”

“We just want to talk.” Jayse says.

They have a look of sincerity.

“Please.” Peter begged.

“Please leave. I don’t believe you. Just go away.” I beg. “I just can’t.” I turn away from them. I can’t look at them. My eyes stinging. When I heard the door finally close the tears fall one by one. Then a sob broke out. I curl myself into a ball. But I suddenly felt two pairs of arms wrapping around me. I scream and tried to get out of the hold they have me in.

“Don’t touch me! Let go!” I yell and scream. “Don’t touch me! Let go of me! Don’t hurt me! Please! Don’t! Noo! Nooo! No! No! Let go! Don’t touch me. Don’t! Please!!” I sob and scream. Trying to get out. Pushing my arms hitting whatever I can just to get out.

“Shh,” a voice says calmly by my ear. “calm down. It’s just us.”

“No let go of me! You’re going to hurt me!” I cry out. “Just like always for the past 10 years!!”

“We won’t hurt you anymore. We promise. Give us a chance please?” The other one said. “We won’t let anything happen to you. We won’t hurt you.”

After calming down, I whisper, “I can’t. I’m scared. You can be lying to break me more. I can’t take that chance.” I quickly grabbed my backpack and left the room.

For the next month nothing really changed other than the fact that the twins kept following me and begging me to give them another chance. But I wouldn’t give in. Things got worse at home. They started to be even more forceful. Well except for my brother and sister. After all they didn’t know what is happening to me. They live in another state. Married to their partners. Not caring about their little brother. Even when they visit they don’t talk to me at all.

Everything hurts. My body. My brain. But mostly,

My Heart.

But in that one month the two bothered me too much so I gave in to them. Carefully at first. After all, I can’t trust them. Not yet anyways. But as time went by….I finally let them in. They broke down my walls little by little. They were truly patient with me. They took me out. Talked to me. And they made me smile. Like truly smile. I forgot how to. But I did. They were surprised that I smiled. And laugh. I forgot how to. It felt and sounded so…weird. I quickly went back to my usual poker face. And went ran back to my house. When I did I went to my room and I could feel my face heating up. Oh my gosh….Am I blushing!? I can’t! I can’t blush for them. It would be too easy to give in. But I like them both so much but I can’t. But I know I’m just lying to myself. But I can’t like both. I have to choose one. But it’s so hard to.

When the next day came, they confessed to me. They said they liked me. They wanted to try to do a three-way relationship. And I shyly agreed. One more month has passed and I wasn’t bullied anymore. Well physically that is. Surprisingly. But the verbal abuse is still there. Physical at home though. Though I’m dating the twins, it’s in secret. Which hurts me but I don’t let it get to me. After all they weren’t gay to begin with.

When I got to school, I heard people snicker at me as they look at me. I only looked down. I searched for the twins but when I saw them my heart sunk. The two of them were making out with their ex-girlfriend. They told me that they broke up long ago. Is it as I feared? Did they lie to me? Did I give them everything, including my heart for just for them to crush it to the ground? Did they break down my walls only to break them till the point where I don’t need them? But the one that hurt me was that a picture of my painting of broken wings was hanging up but didn’t have my name. No it had their names on it. I dropped my things on the floor in shock. I walked over to them with tears in my eyes. I forcefully tugged them  away from their girlfriend and slapped them both in turns. I then brought Peter’s face to me and kissed him for a few seconds and let go. I turn to Jayse who has a look of shock and kissed him as well. For both there is no lip moving. No tongue. Nothing. Nothing sweet either. Only lips touching together. The kisses has a taste of salt.

My tears.

After finishing the kiss I let go of his face. I walk backwards. A few feet away from them. Tears still streaming down my face.

“I guess everything is a lie.” I said. A statement. Not question.. “Everything is a game to you. Break the gay kid’s heart. Congrats. You did. On my birthday to no less.” I let out a sad small laugh. Then I smiled. My voice gradually getting louder.  “I hope you are happy with what you did. Always be happy. Because I know it won’t be me. And let me say this right now. I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough with the insults. The abuse. The names. With relationships. With family. With school. With trust. With love. With both of you. And mostly life. My heart has taken enough damage. So, do whatever you want with my things. You can have them back. Well except virginity. That can’t be taken back. Nor my heart because it’s too broken to see any of the pieces. But I’m sure you can take everything else. Because this is goodbye. Forever.”

With that I wiped my tears. I took a deep breath. And smiled with everything I got. I turned and walked away. I went past my backpack. I won’t need it anymore. I walked all the way home. No one was home. Thankfully, but I didn’t know that my brother came to visit. I went to the place where my father his his gun. I took it and brought it to my room. I closed the door and locked it. I stood in the middle of my room and looked around one last time. Crying the whole time. I put the metal to my temple. Took off the safety. Took a deep breath. Closed his eyes. And  pulled the trigger. I didn’t even feel pain.

Trevor woke up to the sound of a gunshot scaring him. He didn’t know what to do. Should he leave the room to see what’s happening or stay safe in the room. In his panic he called everyone, his friends, the cops, his family. When he got to a name, he paused. His little brother. He never noticed that five minutes passed since the gun shot sound. He called his brother. But his brother didn’t pick up. He called a second time. Still didn’t pick up. Nervous he kept calling his brother as he cautiously open his door. It became voicemail again. He called once again. When he did he heard the ringtone. It belonged to his little brother. Confused he called again to make sure that he was hearing it right. It is his ringtone. It led him to his room. He knocked on the door.

“Art, you in there?” Trevor knocked and asked.

When he didn’t get a reply he tried opening the door. But the door wouldn’t budge.  “Art?”

5 more minutes pass.

When again he had no reply, he called his father. His mother only to find out that he should be in school. He called school. When he did he heard what had happened at the school 2 hours and 30 minutes ago. The first to arrive is the sister, Nadia. When she heard that there was a gun shot at the house she drove there from work. She called Trevor to see if he is okay and if it’s safe to go inside. When she got the confirmation she unlocked the house herself and went inside and called out for Trevor.

When he heard and  saw the recording of his brother at the school he didn’t even finish watching because he now heard enough. He cried and he banged the door. Trying to open it. Hoping that the gun shot wasn’t real. He kept telling his little brother’s name. Hoping for a reply. Nadia looked confused as Trevor was calling out the youngest’s name, banging on the door with tears flowing down his eyes. Worried for her older brother, she grabbed Trevor’s arm.

“Stop Trevor! You’re hurting yourself!” She cried out. Trying to pull him away from the door.

Five minutes had passed.

“Let go of me!! I have to make sure!! I need to make sure!!” he says pulling away from his sister’s hold.

“What are you talking about?? Arts at school!”

“HE’S NOT!! I CALLED HIM AND THE SCHOOL!! HIS PHONE IS IN HIS ROOM. HE’S NOT AT SCHOOL!” Trevor kept trying to open the door.

Nadia saw Trevor’s phone and saw the recording. She picked it up and when she heard the words “I’ve had enough.” she dropped the phone and tried to help Trevor. Praying that her baby brother  went somewhere else. That he left his phone at home. Locked the door on accident. But its locked in the inside.

The next person who came is Trevor’s wife. She ran to the house and inside to see her husband and sister in law banging on the a door. Confused she walked over to them.

“How long has it been since the gun shot!?!?!” Trevor yelled out.

“Almost 15 minutes.” She replied. More people came. Including the police. t

He cussed. “I should have done this a long time ago! Move Nadia!” She did as asked. He walked backward and making sure to put everything in this, he kicked the door open After many tries, it finally open. But what he saw made his face pale. There on the floor, laid his little brother, the gun in his hand, his eyes closed, dried tears on his face. And the unmistakable pool of blood by his head.

“NOOOOO!!!! ART!!!!!!!!!” He screams out. He runs to his little brother. Dead on the bedroom floor. “Art! No! You can’t!” He cries out. Slapping his brother’s cheeks as an attempt to wake him up.

Nadia is next. She went after Trevor and she immediately scream as she saw the blood. Her legs became weak as she fell to the floor. Crying to herself. Asking why? So many questions yet she knew the answer to. Yet refuse to believe them.

Everyone else, just stand in their place confused. Not knowing on what is going on. The police quickly took action. When everything was revealed on what had happened, many felt ashamed and guilt. But there were some that felt like “Good riddance.”

But the ones who felt it most is the two who stole and broke his heart.

THE END